What are the conditions necessary for a successful dual relationship? Specifically, between an ENTp and ISFp?
Those are questions that have plagued me for a while, perhaps because of intense emotions associated with them (folks, this is what happens when you fall in love).
I haven't found the answer. However, I think I've discovered some truths that I hope others will add on to.
Lesson #1: Both partners must be able to help solve each other's problems about their base and creative functions.
Quick terminology: base and creative functions are a person's strongest and second-strongest functions.
I arrived to that conclusion using my background in Christianity. If two people don't share the same religion, then the relationship will not work (i.e. Fi, associated with relationships, morals, religion).
Instead of the ENTp/ISFp pairing, consider the ESTj/INFj pairing. The INFj leads with Fi. If the INFj and ESTj don't share the same religion, then the pairing's dead in the water. Why? Because the INFj can't solve the ESTj's Fi needs.
Let's come back to the ENTp/ISFp pairing, and apply that finding to each of the strong functions:
- Ne: the ENTp needs to be able to show the ISFp new projects, ideas, theories that will inspire her.
- Ti: the ENTp needs to be able to help the ISFp create logical theories that will help her learn from her experience
- Si: the ISFp needs to give pleasure, sensory details to the ENTp. In effect, "take care" of the ENTp's health and well-being. Help him enjoy life!
- Fe: whenever the ENTp loses his passion for work and life, the ISFp must be there to rekindle the fire.
If the ENTp/ISFp are strictly "in a relationship" without some project, family, or common interest to work on together, then it is very hard indeed for their strong functions to have any help on each other. Let's use the concrete example of an ENTp interested in business ventures (startups, anyone?) and the ISFp interested in art. It is not likely at all that their relationship will succeed, because:
- Ne: how can the ENTp show the ISFp new projects if they are in completely separate spheres of activity? (e.g. business ideas vs artistic portfolios)
- Ti: sure the ENTp can investigate theories that will help him in business, but that won't help the ISFp in art, will it?
- Si: the ENTp and the ISFp must enjoy the same leisure activities.
- Fe: when the ENTp does not feel like working on his business ventures, the ISFp must be there to rekindle his interest.
Unfortunately, despite the dating relationship, the ENTp and ISFp are in two very different spheres of activities.
In the end, the lesson can be simply rephrased as: for a relationship to be successful, they've got to have common interests or goals.
Could you do one for SLE and IEI?
ReplyDeleteHey Schweepy,
DeleteYah! I could definitely do that. It's been a few weeks since I put up new content, and there's a lot more that I could write about this weekend. For the moment, I'm going to be busy for the rest of today and Friday, but I'll definitely do a post about SLE and IEI.
Recently, the most interesting developing for me is that I mistyped the ISFp....she was actually INFp (IEI). This mistyping explains /a lot/ of my posts.....lol.
Anyways, if you have more questions or requests for posts, feel free to comment! As there isn't a ton of readers, I can probably make time to do your request, if any ;)
--j0ker
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DeleteHow did you figure out she was IEI instead?
ReplyDeleteI first realized it when I started being a lot more aggressive in my approach than I had been. That's when I first considered whether she might be INFp, and then that's when I realized INFp fit everything else she did:
Delete* often mentioned how she was hungry or tired (This is Si in the Super-Ego position)
* often postponed events, so timing was very important to her
* often 'zoned-out', meaning that sometimes, she be in her head instead of in the moment
I'll expand on some of these points in a post.