Synthesizing descriptions of duality

**Sidenote: a very noteworthy link, if you care to read: http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/showthread.php/34095-Duality-relations-various-authors-(machine-trans). This is link #3 in this post.

I'll be looking at several descriptions of the duality relation and make pertinent remarks.

Most of the descriptions only provide a couple perspective on the duality relation. By looking at all the descriptions, a much stronger picture of the duality relation arises.

1. http://www.socionics.com/rel/dlt.htm

Remarks:

• The description simply remarks that "The first stage can be really tense." This is probably the greatest understatement of the century. They can be REALLY tense, lasting for as long as a whole year (which is the case in my life).
  
• Each dual pair need different conditions in order for a relationship to form. For example, an ESTj and an INFj, both very religious types, should be devout followers of the same religion and be working together in the same religious group (church, fellowship, etc.)
  
• The description states that conflicts are solved without pain once a relationship has formed. This is not true...
  
• Link #2 provides some interesting notes on dual relationships.

2. http://www.socionika.com/experiencing_dual_relations.html

Remarks:

• I am not so sure whether 30% - 45% of all marriages are dual relationships, since the divorce rate is around 50% in the US....and besides, the statistic is answering the question "what is the percentage of all marriages right now that are dual relations?". This is obviously going to be skewed towards dual relationships...Given a snapshot in time, most marriages will have been formed for many years. After so much time, dual relations has the strongest chance of standing strong, followed by activation and mirror relations.
  
  Instead, a much more interesting statistic will be comparing length of marriage with the type of relation.
  
• An interesting point: "Duals are also rather jealous." This is an understatement, at least from my experience...duals are extremely jealous.
  
• I like this point: "It takes some time to become accustomed to each other."
• Question: how much time?
  
• The article mentions 8 stages of a dual relation, but it's obvious that they skipped the "really tense" stage. Instead, the "8 stages" should be treated as "8 characteristics"

**3. http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/showthread.php/34095-Duality-relations-various-authors-(machine-trans)

Remarks: This compiles a dozen different descriptions. This is like the magnus opum of dual descriptions. Lots of really good stuff. I'll only be making remarks on the negative aspects of Duality that was found.

• "In dual relationship corrected deficiencies that are felt acutely partner and immediately goes back reaction. This natural reaction "gets to the point," can certainly be painful, but stimulates the analysis of behavior to deep reflection and efficient corrective action. But such a process, however, takes time and tremendous effort, domestic work, soul-searching, analysis of our own actions and behavior of others is a heartache. Sometimes people may refuse from each other."
  
  Great note. When one dual needs to correct his behavior, then 1) there is extraordinary pain, 2) stimulates self-analysis, corrective behavior, 3) requires much time, much effort, and much heartache.
  
  
  There are time when the partners will refuse/reject each other. Folks, this is painful reality! Great stuff.
  
• Perhaps this line can provide some hope: "Over time, people begin to realize how much they mean to each other."
  
  "time" can mean as long as half to a whole year. This is how it was in my case.
  
  Not so idealistic anymore, is it?
  
• After delving a little more into some descriptions, I am beginning to realize that there are indeed some very idealistic overtones. At least it's tempered by some hardcore notes how it can be really difficult.
• Relationships develop, the partners are improving, making the interest, harmony and surprise with new and new pleasant surprise, hitting the endless creative manifestations: "We're so good together, can there be even better?" Time passes, and it turns out that the relationship became even more enjoyable, more interesting, and is perceived by all as a miracle, like grace as a gift of fate.
  
• "misunderstandings still occur, however, themselves quickly and quietly disappear. Most often it happens at first, until one yet knows the other. Quarreling, which arise from differences in styles of thinking and rapid reconciliation tone partners bring excitement in relationships, educate and develop. Relationships stimulate work on them. Occurs amazingly fast growth of the individual. Ability to work on yourself, respect and attention to the partner and their needs, respect for it increasing culture of communication, and then it passes easily, without stress and brings true satisfaction."
  
  This is an extremely important point. Dual relations require work! Lots of work! And lots of pain, too...
  
  It is interesting to note that in dual relations, partners really motivated to do all that work and self-improvement, despite the pain that can be felt from time to time.
  
  Andddddd....this bullet point reminds me of a very relevant Steve Jobs quote:
  
  "People say you have to have a lot of passion for what you’re doing and it’s totally true. And the reason is because it’s so hard that if you don’t, any rational person would give up. It’s really hard. And you have to do it over a sustained period of time. So if you don’t love it, if you’re not having fun doing it, you don’t really love it, you’re going to give up. And that’s what happens to most people, actually. If you really look at the ones that ended up, you know, being “successful” in the eyes of society and the ones that didn’t, oftentimes, it’s the ones [who] were successful loved what they did so they could persevere, you know, when it got really tough. And the ones that didn’t love it quit because they’re sane, right? Who would want to put up with this stuff if you don’t love it?
  So it’s a lot of hard work and it’s a lot of worrying constantly and if you don’t love it, you’re going to fail. So you’ve got to love it and you’ve got to have passion and I think that’s the high-order bit."
  
• Another cautionary note: "However, in fairness it should be noted that in relations between the dual there are many difficulties precisely because of the fact that a strong function of their opposite. However, it allows them to successfully interact with the world, but often turns misunderstanding between the partners themselves."

Andddddddd....there are many other good points in that article! Read it, read it all!

4. http://www.wikisocion.org/en/index.php?title=Duality

Remarks:

• Once again, plenty of idealistic language here. Most of the article is covered with idealism, anyways. Want to get pumped up about how Duality is all awesome? Read it.
• Completely downplays how tension and conflict can arise.

5. http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/20-Duality-Descriptions-(Filatova)

Remarks

• Interesting comparison of what each dual needs each other for.

6. http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin/content.php/17-Duality-Descriptions-Meged-Ovcharov

Remarks

• Describes duality for each pair, and what each pair needs to do in order to dualize.

********************************************

Would you like me to look at a description not already here? Let me know in the comments! Synthesizing yet another description can only help improve what is already written.